


I Hate You More

by JunipersHollow (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black-Red Vacillation, Break Up, Bullying, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Depressed Karkat, F/M, Getting to Know Each Other, Hate to Love, Homestuck - Freeform, I Ship It, Karkat Hates Himself, Love/Hate, Minor Character(s), Misunderstandings, Moving On, POV Karkat Vantas, POV Second Person, Quadrant Vacillation, Rare Pairings, Sunk Ship, Teasing, vriskat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-09 13:10:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4350044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/JunipersHollow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love was something you never expected to feel when you met Terezi Pyrope. She was your first love, but also your first heart ache. Drowning in the break up blues, you are as vulnerable and unconfident as ever. Terezi's shadow haunts you in the form of the spidery and cunning Vriska Serket, relentless on emasculating you for shits and giggles. Her drive is something of an enigma to you, purely for her own personal enjoyment. that is, until she shows you her real intentions.</p><p>*I never had a tangible substance of an idea for this but shards and pieces I was playing around with, it won't be completed*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1- You Were Right

She's giving you that look again. That know it all self-aggrandizing smirk. You want to smack that grin off off her face because she knows how much you hate it when her lips spread widely and form that dastardly smug, it makes your stomach churn with vomit. Perhaps if she continues to grind your gears your vomit will have enough momentum to up chuck into her face. But, it's not worth it. You don't want this sight seared into your retinas for any longer than you can handle it. Given your temperamental nature, the amount of time you can handle it is few.  
Your lovely ex like a sister in law. Your lovely, spidery and manipulative huge bitch ex like a sister in law, also known as Vriska Serket.  
She raises her slim black eyebrows to the top of her forehead with dimples scrunching up into little balls below dual cerulean. Leaning in closely to your ear, her voice is like metal liquid sliding through your hearing tunnels, her words are oil lit with fire; you tense as the electricity travels from the nape of your neck and down your spinal cord. 

"I knew she'd dump you. I knew she'd break it off because you're an emotional little bitch ." She laughed and her eye gleamed malignantly, your face and the rest of your body grew pale. Your cheeks became rubricate with a seething anger that you could not voice for your throat had run completely dry. Flashing the last of her Cheshire Cat grin, she ever so slowly withdrew from your side and swaggered on. You grit your teeth and stared a hole in her back, but she didn't even notice your glare unconsciously. And she's a fucking Scorpio! Those bullies are all about noticing shit before everyone else has! Maybe that's why she told you it was a stupid idea to ask her out. She told you both.  
You squeeze your fist till the skin of your knuckles are red and white and roll your head back letting out a scream the size of planet fucking Jupiter because SHE WAS RIGHT! 

You should have never asked Terezi to be your girlfriend. You should have told her flat out when you met her that you were a neurotic and insecure piece of shit. Of course, that wouldn't have derailed you from falling for her, and then ultimately going out and being left to mope and wallow like the pathetic trash you know you are. Fate just decided that it wanted to be a sick fuck today and make you its bitch. And if life couldn't get any better, you now had the devil sticking you in the ass with her heinous stinger and insufferable personality. Serket has suckered you into hating yourself and every fiber of your being once again! 

You mutter neurotically under your breath as your black tennis shoes trudge against the dirt of your highschool's foot ball field. You drag your shoes in the grass, it's not even grass really. It's fake grass that the school implanted because you don't need to water it to keep it fresh and green. It stayed like that all year long. You create lines of flattened down pseudo-grass behind you like you're leaving a trail for someone to follow. But you don't want anyone's company at the moment, not even the comfort of a friend which you currently did not have. The few people who were on your list of contacts were more of acquaintances that you kept on your phone just in case you absolutely needed someone to talk to. Which was never. 

Speak of the devil, there's one of your acquaintance right now sitting on the bleachers just in front of the sun set. Dave Strider, you met him when Jade and Egdork introduced their newest friends, Rose Lalonde the epitome of goth and Dave, a chill dude who wasn't as cool as he thought he was, but still pretty amusing enough to share a few words with every now and then.  
You walk a bit faster and get to a jogging speed, you don't care if you're not even that close to him, you reach out a hand and start hollering his name, but he doesn't hear you. He's paying attention to something else, there's someone sitting next to him- OH SHIT.  
You snap shut like gog just pulled the cord on your own voice and dive underneath the bleachers. Your heart is throbbing in your chest and you hear the blood in your ear drums and feel the blood in your temples. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck! Why must you be so cursed? What kind of horrendous act of immorality did you perform in another life that stacked a shit ton of karma on you in the present? What the fuck did you do to deserve this?

She's here. Why is she with Dave hours after school on the bleachers... alone and with him... and alone! With Strider? You just can't wrap your head around this, and what's worse then not being able to understand is the highly noticeable and highly obvious jealously you are feeling. Terezi, even after all the things she told you about, personal things like how she went blind, she never once mentioned she was friends with Dave. But now here they are talking about who knows what. What are they talking about?

You place a shaky hand against your chest to try to calm your unsteady heart but your pulse continues to jump and waver. You strain your neck to look up and peep at them through the spaces between the large steps. You can only hope that Dave and Terezi don't notice you're spying on them, but you really don't have a choice! You could try to dash out of the bleachers and run across the field and risk your ex girlfriend seeing you which would be incredibly awkward since she said she doesn't want to see you anymore, or you could stay here and pray they don't look down or you have no nervous gases to blow your cover.  
"..."  
You make out their voices, Terezi speaks first with her signature nasally gruff voice.

"I'm so glad you could make some time to come and talk with me here, ya' see I've been pretty bugged lately and in need of some cool kid cheering up!" You twiddle your thumbs because you know the reason why she's saying these things to him. 

"Heh, yeah. Lay it on me what you got that's making you bluer than your Serket friend, I'll try and give you advice from my inner fountain of cool kid wisdom." Fucking Dave. He thinks he's so smooth. You are almost seriously contemplating removing him from your friend's contacts indefinitely.

Terezi speak again and you swallow the lump of anxiety in your throat.

"Dave, life has been difficult for me as of late. Ya' know, I recently broke it off with my ex boyfriend." Her tone becomes inaudible and solemn. You pick at the hangnail on your thumb with your pointer, you get a bad feeling about this and are reluctant to hear what she has to say next. Your position at the moment is compromising indeed.

"With Karkat, Right?" Dave responds knowingly. You chew your bottom lip.

"Yes. I presumed you already knew about it. He's taking it pretty hard from what I've seen. I'm just surprised he never noticed the obvious inclinations that the relationship was growing sour."

Obvious? Was it really obvious? She never gave off any vibrations that what you two had was going down hill. Or at least it seemed that way to you. But you have never been the person to notice subtle changes in other people. They have to punch you square in the face before you can realize what has changed about them.

"What kind of inclinations?" Dave ask. 

Your ears perk.

"I tried to make it work. He was so sincere on being with me in the beggining, but I was naive and didn't have a clue about his bipolar issues. He would be sweet to me, but that cherry sweetness would only last for a moment and then he was back to getting angry at me for no apparent reason! It was so exhausting dealing with his constant mood fluctuations. It always seemed like when we were together he was never thinking about me, instead he voiced his opinion about all the nitty gritty details but never bothered to ask what thought!  
"Imagine being around a Numbskull like that 24\7? It would just drag you down and the happiness would be drained out of your body. And his fixation on romcoms, don't even get me started on that. I had to do what was best for me and look out for myself, so I dumped him. If he had realized he was being such an inconsistent bellyacher, maybe things would have turned out differently then the way they did. But he didn't, so I hope that he can understand someday why we split, and learn from it so that he doesn't make the same mistakes and end up hurting someone he cares about needlessly."

You stop breathing, you stop thinking. You just stop. Your hand goes to cover your mouth and your fingers squeeze your lips. That was her confession. And everything she talked about, it was all true. How could you have been so blind? She saw through you and made her judgment, and now it is impossible to make it up to her. You are such an idiot. You're like cancer. Infectious and incurable. 

You can never fall in love again, because you will only give them cancer.

"That is some heavy shit. I feel you though. When you don't know that person well enough, you can make assumptions about them that are completely biased and unrealistic given their true personality. Sometimes it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, as my bro Tennyson so elegantly puts it. You get the point."

"I really do." Terezi smiles and leans foreword as her lips collide with Dave's. You watch powerless as Dave grunts, startled, then begins to ease into the motion of the kiss. Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. 

Their shadows move with their figures, disappearing as the orange fiery sun descends under the bleachers. They left five minutes ago, but you haven't even moved a muscle. You fall to the ground and cover your face with your arms, burying your expression. The tightness starts at the pit of your stomach and rises till it's clogging your throat and you breath shallow. Your guilt claws at your heart and your shame strangles you with its herculean grip, choking you. Squeezing every drop of hope out of you like a lemon. Tears stream down your flushed face, you try and bite them back but they taste bitter. You cry in solitude under the bleachers, snot running down your nose, your face burns as salty tears seep into your pores.

You cry because you fucked up.

You cry,

because you loved her.

And you hurt her.


	2. Chapter 2

Underneath a sea of cotton you feel nothing can ever touch you again. It's just warmth and never ending solitude. You are completely safe from everything that can manifest in the third dimension, basically, anything that is tangible. Intangible things like thoughts and words can hurt you all they like. Your own thoughts, especially.

Idiot.

Fucking ignoramus.

I didn't mean to...

I didn't realize...

You've lost everything you've ever wanted.

Your brain was a train wreck and pandemonium unleashed the very thoughts that you did not want to hear. They hurt the most because they came from you. You huddled closer and wrapped your arms tightly around your chest underneath massive blankets. When any problem in your life was raised to the surface there was always someone you could blame. But now there's no one else to call the scapegoat, because you are at fault for every single thing that made the relationship go to shit. 

The lights in your room were dim and shadows cast about the walls like spiders creeping from their cob webs. The television flickered and static twitched like a rabbit's nose. You just wanted to be alone in your little hole and drown in dismalness. 

Knock knock.

You jump out of your flesh at the sound of prominent knuckles on wood. Your wood. God dammit this is the worst time for him to come barging in. You try and slide down on your stomach and flatten yourself to make it like you look like you're just sheets and blankets. Karkat is not here. You think loudly as if the person on the other side of the door will heed your thoughts and stay out. 

"Karkat, it is your older brother, Kankri. I have noticed that you have been in your bedroom alone for quite some time and it is worrisome to Papa and I. Please do not feel triggered that I am coming in."

You hold your breath and perk your ears to listen to the light footsteps entering through the doorway and heading toward the bed. Shit. Shit. Shit! You stay extremely still. The foot steps stop and you let a little sigh of relief escape. Then you start to curse again as the bed is shaken and your look-alike scrambles up onto the mattress and plops down beside your feet.

"I know you are underneath these comforters. Why don't you come out?" You hear the voice outside your satin fortress, sympathetic.

You keep silent. 

"It is a fruitless endeavour to remain silent when I am already aware of your position. Please come out from your hiding and confide in me what is making you alienate yourself so." 

"Go away, Kankri."

You grumble and hear him sigh, then feel the sensation of a hand on your head. Kankri pats your scalp, it's a nice gesture but you're not in the mood to be babied. 

"I cannot leave until you tell me what is troubling you, dear brother." He ruffles your hair and you groan aloud. You sit up and let the covers slide off you to face your brother. You furrow your brows and glower unceremoniously at your sibling, Kankri puckers his lips, his hair is shaggy and dark like yours but smoother and shinier. You cross your gray sweater sleeves over your chest with a hmph! 

"Nothing I want to talk about with you."  He makes an expression of hurt and sucks in his bottom lip. He's such a tender, bleeding heart. You hate it.

"I respect your privacy, it is perfectly okay to take the time to sort through issues on your own. That is well understandable, but when your private time becomes a disturber of the natural routine we have set for ourselves, that is when it becomes an issue for the whole family. You have been neglecting your household responsibilities, as well as skipping out on father and son bonding times in the afternoon. I do not know the cause of your isolation, but my intuition tells me you-"

"Stop!"

You thrust your arm out and cup his mouth with your hand before he can say anything more. "Just... stop." His auburny eyes glance down at your hand then back at your eyes. They become dilated and in an instant he has grabbed your wrist firmly  and ripped your hand off of his face, his face is red and his chest heaves robustly. You stare at him wildly with surprise alight in your irises. Kankri gives you a black look, you swear he's going to punch you. 

"I.." His voice strains.

He slowly releases you and his hand drops to his side. His flush recedes and the natural peach color of his face returns. "I would appreciate it if you did not touch me without my permission." He let's out a long, weary breath. You rub your eyes tentatively, they trail down to your wrist where faint hand marks are visible. You swallow the frog in your throat and nod your head repeatedly. 

"Good. Well it seems apparent to me that you are not yet ready to confide in me, so I will exit and leave you be." He sits up and slumps off your bed, then stands, kow tows and lets you alone. Not before giving you one last word on his counseling offer.

"Remember, my room is always open for you, Karkat. Come to me when you are ready to speak about what's on your mind." He give a little wave and withdraws through the doorway, pushing it closed with the palm of his hand till it makes a click. 

You snatch one of your pillows and hurl it at the door.

"Graagh!" You let out an exasperated growl and throw your hands into the air with a; what's the use of it. You squeeze your fingers into a ball and smash it into another pillow beside you. You keep hitting the pillow and allowing your hot frustration to boil over. You clobber the soft, doughey cushion until feathers begin to spew out of an opening like a pipe leak. You go at this for a solid three minutes or so before you get tired. Your fist unravles and you slink onto your back, staring blankly at the plastered ceiling above you. 

That helped a lot. You think.

Without warning and without notice, something hard hits your window. You flinch and jerk up to scramble over to the glass pane. Another object flies toward the window and makes a crunch sound as glass cracks around the area where it struck. 

"What the actual fuck?" You roar and stick your forehead up to the glass to see where the rocks are coming from. You gasp and your mouth forms an O.

The assailant stands tall and wiry in your front lawn below, wiggling their fingers at you playfully, in the other hand there's a bag and at their feet a pile of pebbles. They toss the pebble in the air and pitch another rock as it hits the glass exactly where your face lurks. You can't hear them with the window sill shut tight but you can make out their words plain as day by reading their lips.

"Come out!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember to give kudos and comment! ^u^

"Vriska!" You bellow her name and fumble to unlock the window sill, lifting the pane with small biceps. You thrust your head out the window to look down at the smiling wretch. She's a wretch in your mind, no doubt. What in the blistering fuck is she doing her? You ponder and furrow your auburn brows into scrunched up caterpillars. You squint as she begins to form other words into sentences.

"Don't leave me hanging! I'm not as patient as I look." Vriska says a little louder, shouting and waving her hands. What is she talking about being patient? She's never once looked a ounce of patient in her life! 

"Why the fuck are you at my house, Serket? I demand answers!" 

"Damn, Karkat. Is this how you treat all of your visitors? You probably don't get too many, if this is how you respond to company." She returns with a smart ass sarcastic grin and tosses another stone into the atmosphere. 

"Bitch, don't you fucking dare hurl another one at my head or so help me-" you scream and your body hangs half way out the window. You can already feel your face blistering and the blood pumping to your hands as they curl into fist. She doesn't throw it at you but rather catches it like she's playing ball and repeats the process of sending it up and letting it fall back into her clutches. Why the fuck hasn't she left yet?

"So, are you going to invite me in or aren't you?" She sticks a hand on her hip and taps her foot restlessly. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. You must not have noticed the sign on our porch that blatantly says No Soliciting. Now that you have seen the sign please fuck off before I am forced to call the police on you for refusing to leave my property!" You flip her the bird and disappear from the window. It's seems like you've stumped her, because there are no snarky comments after that. She's left. You let out a little sigh of relief and give yourself a pat on the back. Way to go you.

Though you feel the lovely sensation of victory welling up inside of you, you can't help that curiosity is poking you in the back. You cross your arms over your chest and slump back onto the bed cushions. "Why the fuck did she come, anyways? To torment me more? Like hell I'll allow that to happen!" You grumble like the fuss puss you are. You're just the unluckiest lad to walk Earth. 

Your brother hollars your name from downstairs. Great! What is it this time? You stomp ardently toward the door way and swing it open to find Kankri standing in front of it, giving you this really weird look that he's never done before. A mixture of caution and interest, his brows are raised and his lips have curled up to one side almost like he's smirking. You bark at him. "Kankri, I'm not going to talk with you about what's bothering me so stop being so fucking persitient and give me some peace!" Kankri clicks his tounge and folds his sleeved arms over his chest. His eyes skyrocket with contempt and your skin burns irritably at his overt disdain for his sibling. 

"There's a girl here asking for you. I thought you would find it pleasant that your friend visited you so I let her in our home. Her disposition is remarkably more civilized than the hoodlems I inferred you had familiarized with. I believe her name is Vriska." He steps aside and Vriska is revealed. Your eyes meet, she feigns a sweet smile on her face for show and dips her head as she thanks Kankri, none the wiser. 

"Oh, nonsense. Do I really seem that cultivated? That's far too kind of you, stop it you're making me blush!" She smacks a hand to her cheek and giggles lightheartedly, side glancing at you all the while with an ill-intentioned gleam in her eye. Kankri nods satisfactorily, no longer emanating an aura of captiousness but rather delight. You can't believe he hasn't realized she's faking everything. She is a charlatan! 

"Oh, Karkat, you're friend is quite the charmer. I haven't heard a single trigger come out of her mouth, unlike someone else who needs to check their privileges every once and a while." You groan. You know he's talking about you. Anyways, this needs to end here and now. You enter the fray.

"Vriska isn't my friend. Not in an eternity, not even in hell will she ever be my friend. Can't you see she's a total fraud?" You shove a blameful finger in her face and she scowls. "Don't try to weasle your way out of this, you started this war and now you're in my territory and I'm holding you prisoner until you give me some answers." Her expression has changed to something like amusement, she waves your finger away from her face and instantly she's changed character again, this time her lip is quivering and she looks like she's at the brink of tearing up.

"I.. I had no one to go to for this, and I just thought maybe my very best friend would take me in. But it seems I have made a mistake, it was poor judgment to expect that you, good chum, would want to be there for me in these troubling times. Isn't that what friendship is for? Has this feeling of friendship died? surely it must still be alive somewhere in your cold, nonexistent heart?" She sniffs and covers her eyes with the back of her hand. Your jaw has dropped. Vriska's fingers open up little slits for her eyes to peep through at you. 

Kankri turns to you and his eyes say, "You've made her cry. You are a complete and utter disappointment to the human race and this family." What the fuck Kankri! He thinks this is your fault and that you should be ashamed?! Hell fucking no!

"I've caused a great deal of stress for you two, I will leave now. I don't want to give you any more trouble than you deserve." She slumps and begins to tread down the staircase, Kankri stares at you wildly and scorn is right on the tip of his tongue. Oh hell no, you much rather deal with Vriska's harassment than five hours of Kankri's lectures.

You abandon all hopes and admit defeat. "Fine. Stay if you want. You and I are going to have a serious talk and you better be sincere or I am fucking done with you." Kankri nods again and he looks pleases enough that the chiding will only last two hours after Vriska has left. Vriska whips around and the tears have evaporated from her eyes, she looks jut as energetic and daunting as she was when she was outside your house. 

"Great! I knew you still had some part of your soul intact. Let's get going!" Her smile widens ear to ear and she shoves you out of the way and bombards your bedroom without bothering to ask if you wanted her in there. Kankri pats your head and retires to study. He'll be there at your door again when she leaves ready to castigate you, and you'll be ready to lock the door and put your ear buds in.

You roll your shoulders and shut your bedroom door, then make a U-turn. "Okay, you can drop the act now. You've obviously come here for a reason, so just cut out the phoney miss civilized crap and give it to me face to face." 

And she gives it to you face to face; the girl grabs the back of your neck and merges her lips upon yours before you can grasp what is the start of your gradually crumbling reality and predestined downfall. Fate has got it in for you.


End file.
